I am happy that you found someone that makes you smile
I am happy you found someone that makes you feel worthwhile
I am happy you found someone who makes your heart flutter
I am happy you found someone that make you want to utter
I am happy you found someone who you can’t wait to text
I am happy you found someone that you feel is better than your ex
I am happy you found someone who brings you joy
I am happy you found someone that is your Bok to your choi
I am happy you found someone you can smile with
I am happy you found someone that you always want to be with
I am happy you found someone that makes you feel new
But what I am most happy about is that I am not stuck with you
Sometimes, what your looking for can be found in strange places.
After eight years in the fitness industry my passion began to drop and my drive began to disappear. That’s when I knew it was time to begin a new journey with myself. My favorite experience was connecting with many types of people. Understanding their struggles, motives, and what keeps them waking up every day.
Being twenty-five, life can start to get more difficult. Bills start to rise, health, and trying to find yourself in this big world.
A month after deciding I needed a new career, I got a job at a substance abuse center.
Now let me give you a recap on who I am.
I am a girl who lived in the gym, had healthy eating habits lived in a sheltered world. I knew this was going to change me. I was now working with over sixty-five kids who were, well, very different.
They were Addicted to heroin, opiates, blues, alcohol. They destroyed their lives for one thing; their addiction. Something I could not yet relate to.
Over the course of those first 40 hours, I began to fall in love with the job.
From tech work, room checks, clean ups, medication, and taking them to group therapy. After eight hours a day, you’re going to really to get to know the clients who lived there. And slowly I realized, as much as these kids are different than me, they are so much the same.
They deal with real life shit, family issues, bad friendships, bad relationships and wanting the same things in life. They are struggling with that one thing holding them back, their addiction.
This drove me to want to understand more. What I am learning is that their reasons where all different. Like anything in life you, can’t understand what someone is going through unless you have lived in their shoes.
I realized it was the same for me, my eating issues and putting on weight. As an outsider, that may seem a minor set back, but to the person living it, it is so much more. At this point in my life, I may have found what I was looking for: real substance, a way to make a positive difference in someone else’s life..
When I was a little girl I always dreamed of the man that would be my “soulmate”; he would come my way and complete my life. As I grow older and learned how to live on my own two feet I have learned one thing: Love is not found it is built. We build relationships like we build everything else in our lives; careers, friendships and ourselves. When I started bodybuilding when I was 18 I notice something: I learned that just how you can transform your body, you can do the same with your life. With every step you take, decision and thought process you choose this will form and mold your life. When I met a men I always thought, “Maybe he’s the one?”, “ maybe he's mr. perfect?”. After dating all different types people I realized one simple rule love is not found it is built over time . It is built with someone who has the right intentions for you. They want to make sure your safe, they want to make you smile and they want to be true to no matter if it hurts or not. Learning and loving different types people I also learned that these people would have never been the correct fit because they were not willing to do one thing. They weren’t willing to build love with me. I knew life was always about building a future not finding it right away. In today’s society were all searching for instant satisfaction; money, friendships, and careers. Although if we knew any better we know everything takes work. It takes energy to maintain good health, focus and career. So that’s why I say love is not found it is built. It is built by everyday actions, motives and passion to keep it growing.
This took me years to realize. I am not my weight. I am not what I look like in clothing that is just my size and the skin I live in. I grew up in a household that being a certain weight was crucial to be successful. Or from a little girls view that’s how I saw it. I was put on a diet when I was 9 years old. I remember I had weigh ins and to see if I was progressing. I remember I came home one day to express to my mom I did well in school and my teacher gave me a piece of candy. I brought the sweet little jolly rancher back and asked if I could have it. My mother explained to me diets don’t work that way and you can’t have it. I believe it was after that day I related my success with the way I looked. I attended therapy from the age 19-23 for other issues I was having ; my therapist at the time was doing her clinical hours specializing with girls eating disorders . She knew I had a similar issues like the girls in facility but wouldn’t address them until I brought it to the service myself . I remember one day she lightly spoke about it and mention it was something I had to come to terms with myself. After shortly leaving college I still suffered with my body obsession and wanting to have a certain physique. Trust me I am all about having a healthy physique but what I am not okay is thinking that what I look like is who I am. That is not a way to live a happy life.
I started tracking food in September 2016, which finally gave me a healthy balance with my eating habits. It showed me how much my body required based on my goals at the time and it help me separate emotions with eating habits ( which is a prominent problem in todays society). This was a big success for myself. About a year after tracking food I realized a big piece to the puzzle. So what if I gain weight. So what if I am not a certain size, this is not going to change who I am or how successful I will become in my life. This is just the skin I live. I also believe that coming to terms with how life is. Life is series of constant events that will change and test you. You have to be okay with change. A lot of women who suffer with eating disorders are suffering with underlying issues in their life. And food is our control method. We want to control things in our lives. When I came to realization that I can’t control every little thing in my life it led me to let go of the control methods I was trying to posses. Perfection does not exist. Perfection is only perspective from the eyes that seek them. So remember your body is not who you are it is the skin you live in.
We all go through life unfortunately hoping it will all turn out PERFECT. Every step we take, every decision we choose, we make. We unknowingly spend hours, minutes and many sleepless nights self-debating on things, without regard it might very well just burn and crash. There are so many lessons I along this long road have learned and these are a few:
I’ve learned this:
We as average people, are terrified of this concept: but YES! Take a freaking chance, take that chance that might fail or better yet take that chance with the mental assurance, you will succeed. Every relationship I’ve encountered, I always jumping in blind hoping my other half would see my fairy tale, just like I did. Months later, I would come to the realization, he didn’t have my same views and ultimately, I was stuck with only beautiful memories I could keep with me. But those moments and that person was ‘That Chance’ I had to take to conclude if he would be my prince charming or just another frog.
Take Action and Believe
I have had so many dreams in my life and until got off my ass and took ACTION nothing ever came to life. When I started pouring all my energy and every last penny I had, for something I wanted, thats when my dreams started to become MY reality not just an idea of what I thought it should be. I decided nothing would stop me, and I would find a way. That’s when slowly it was not dream anymore but my REALITY.
Stop Doubting Yourself So Much
Doubting myself had become the definition of me. I doubted myself, I doubted I would have the energy, the drive, to go where I wanted in life. When I learned one day that this could very well, be so far from me. There was one piece of advice a friend gave to me one day. It all starts with YOU. You will succeed if you want it bad enough. Ill give you another example: A good friend of mine moved out to L.A to pursue her dreams of being a model. Most people would think she was crazy! But she wanted it bad enough. She would sit hours, weeks, days on her phone focusing on her social media outlets. She would stand on streets just to get publicity. She saw her vision and she wasn’t going to let anything stop her. Months later, she was being followed by an amazing 52K+ fan base, and she was making a living off her dream. Who would of thought she’d make it, right?
Let this be a lesson, because there is nothing worse than shitty person, AND I will be the first to say it. Be Kind to Others. Treat others how you want to be treated. You never know what others might going through; where they are at in the point in their lives, or the what journey they are about to embark on. So be kind, because it can truly change someones life.
Never Give Up
This one was hard for me to express which actually brought tears to my eyes, because I had been a determined girl and I always let obstacles get in my way. I believed, if it was a bumpy ride, then it was the wrong ride. But that is where I was mistaken. If its bumpy, then you have to be ready to jump over those hurdles and learn from them. Like anything in life, sometimes it takes tweaking, re-adjusting, but primarily it means never giving up.
writer: Lexi Franc
Photographer: Deigo Bonilla
When your “Good mornings” are no longer there.
What do you do when your “Good morning” is not there anymore? You don’t hear that little beep on your phone anymore. You don’t see those precious words pop up on your screen. By “Good morning”, I mean your soulmate; your boyfriend whoever it was that told you good morning every single morning. Which willing, but surely meant something to you. What do you do when that “Good morning” is no longer there?…
Letting go of my “Good morning” was always hard for me. Yes, I miss my “Good morning” texts, and I pondered what they had been up to as they rise for their days. I would wake up hoping I would see those simple words “ Good morning sunshine. How are you?” Those simple words that would begin my day.
As time passed, my mornings turn into my own good mornings; making breakfast, drinking coffee, and telling the little soul underneath all that skin, “Good morning sunshine. You have a big day ahead of you. Now put a smile on the beautiful face of yours.” I knew my good mornings were far gone; but I also knew one day, I would wake up and run right into the real “Good morning.”
So, if your “Good morning” is gone, don’t ponder too long. Just as surely and willing, “Good morning” meant to you one day you will meet someone new. So drink your coffee; don’t stay blue, and just go on with your day so you can meet “Mr. New”.
" I count food because it's the only consistent thing in my life" I tell my friend. I guess we all want consistency in our lives, right? Consistent money, jobs, relationships, the list could go on. We just want life to "flow". The idea of life flowing was actually a crazy thought , well for me it was . It was After college for me that nothing ever " flowed ". It was up one hill to just go down another, month after month. With jobs, relationships, friendships and pretty much anything that involved my life. So I took on the roll of tracking food and counting my "macros" which I realized over time became more of an attachment because I knew that no matter, what it would still be there. I could always take out that shiny metal scale and it would show me gram by gram , ounce by ounce, what I was putting into my body. And I had complete control. It couldn't just get up and leave me one day. It couldn't ignore my phone calls. It was just there. and that was my escape in life. Now I did enjoy tracking for the body benefits as well, but I realize my attachment to it came from the inconsistency in my life. I wanted something that I knew would always be there no matter what. Fitness was was that for me. I remember when I put on weight from my thyroid and I sat in my room and broke down and cried. The one thing that was consistent in my life had now left me . I guess we could go on with our lives "thinking we're happy" or dreaming of a life we've always wanted. I knew I didn't want to dream about it . I wanted to live it. I wanted a job I was passionate about. I wanted good people in my life, and I wanted to keep chasing those dreams that I knew I would eventually catch.
I know what its like to get a sweet tooth, TRUST ME! I love getting creative in the kitchen and if that means throwing a bunch of protein powder in a bowl and start adding a bunch of stuff then be it! Today I wanted to share my Protein popcorn recipe. This can be made in many different flavors and takes under 30 minutes to prepare!
You will need:
Chocoalte or vanilla protein powder- 3/4 cup ( scoop and half)
Coconut oil -( 7 grams)
Orville Redenbacher's light popcorn ( 120 cal 2 fat 22 carb)
Himalayan sea salt ( 1/4 tablespoon)
Unsweetend Almond milk ( 1/8 to 1/4 almond milk)
Unsweetend Hershey's Coaco ( 5 grams)
Vanilla liquid sweetner ( any liquid sweetner could work)
You can also add Peanut butter or PB2
After getting all the ingredients you will need to:
1. Pop popcorn and set aside
2. Place protein powder in bowl ( 3/4 cup)
3. Slowly add almond milk until moist ( 1/4 cup)
4. Put pot on pan and add coconut oil in pot to melt
5. Put 1/8 almond milk and add salt in pot
5. Add protien powder and unsweetend Coaco and two drops of liquid sweetner to pot and mix until moist
6. Take mixture out and drizzle or dip in protein powder
7. Place in freezer to harden
Take out and ENJOY! If you try this recipe please take a picture and tag @lexerciseyalife protein popcorn!
12 Fat 28 C 48 P
If you would like to bring down calories I suggest putting in just a scoop of protein instead of scoop and half!
UP TO YOU!
If someone asked me if I could be one action star, who would it be? I would tell them Wonder Woman. Wonder woman let absolutely nothing stop her; no person, no feelings and no road blocks. She pushed through no matter what. I, like many others, have had times in my life when I felt completely crumbled. My body, my relationships, it seemed like everything was not working out. Then, when everything seemed as bad as it could get, it would get worse. One day I decided to pick up all the pieces and put it all back together, one by one. We all go through bumpy roads in our lives; months of disappointment on ourselves, jobs, relationships or anything else. It can tend to just not make you feel alive. There is nothing worse than living a life where you don't feel alive. I’ve been there and it is hard. But in order for change to occur, you have to start with one thing: your mindset. So I decided to pick up the pieces, one by one until I got where I needed to be and that was forward. I started to think about not what did happen or what should have happened, but what could happen. I remember going through one of my heart breaks where I felt completely confused. How could someone care so much and then just stop! I was so confused and felt totally betrayed. Weeks had gone by and I was still just as frustrated as when it first occurred. I was so mad that I was stuck thinking about someone who could hurt me so easily. I would constantly think to myself, “How is this possible?” Then I remembered, God had a plan for me. I started to sit back and tell myself this is just part of the process. You have to trust the process and push through it. I reminded myself it was on me and NO ONE else. I knew the first thing I had to do was change my mind set so that is exactly what I did. As bad as I wanted to throw everything against a wall and break down, I did not. I stayed cool, calm and collected and went about my life. It was those times that I grew into a stronger version of myself. I was slowly but surely becoming someone I always wanted to be; strong, independent and unstoppable: like Wonder Woman.
I lost myself in November of 2016 when I gained over 20 pounds! I lost all my personal training clients and I felt completely lost in life. I couldn’t get hired anywhere to work and I felt as if I wasn’t going anywhere in life and I just didn’t know what do to.. Seven months flew by and I finally found a doctor who re-adjusted my thyroid medication and I was finally able to drop the weight and feel normal again. After months of frustration, worry, and not knowing what I should be doing! I then got hired at what I thought would be a great paying job and met a great guy! It was a month into this job when I started to hate it: I worked from pay check to pay check and started struggling. I relied on the guy I was seeing to make me happy and I knew that wasn’t who I truly was. I knew there was a big piece missing to my life. I knew there was something missing in the equation but I couldn’t figure out what it was. I went on seeing the guy and working my dreadful job and went on with my life, knowing that I was not truly happy. It was about a month into my job and dating the guy that I thought my life was perfect. But it was so far from that. I was suffering with an eating disorder and wasn’t sure what to do. Then one day I got let go from my job, and that so called “great guy” decided to stop seeing me. This was when I decided that my eating disorder needed to change and stop controlling my life. The guy I was seeing went out of town and when he got back, he completely blew me off. He just left me in the dust. I was unsure how anyone could do that to somebody, but I had to move forward. After we stopped seeing each other, I had to put my focus towards something new. I started counting macros and researching proper nutrition for the body. I remember sitting home one night writing one of my articles when I began to cry. It was November 2016, a year later, and I felt as if the girl that was lost 365 days ago was now found. She was brought back to her passion. In November of 2016, I started my own company of Nutritional coaching, macro meal prepping and was back to what I loved 365 days ago, but now it was even better. What I learned was that maybe running into someone who would leave me in the dust is exactly what I needed to push me where I really wanted to be in my life. Not working a job because I think it’s what you’re supposed to be doing, or dating someone who you rely your happiness upon.
About the Author
Lexi is a passionate writer who enjoys fitness and learning about life. She shares her unique experience through her writing and the way she sees life.